Today is Wednesday, as I’m sure you already know. What you may not be aware of is that Wednesday is a bittersweet, weekly reminder of life when times were good. Occasionally on this day, late in the afternoon, I hear the young, neighborhood piano virtuoso plinking away at the keys somewhere in the distance, and think for a minute that it might be the ice cream truck. Despite the fact that I know better; despite the fact that the ice cream truck has not come back for two years. Every time I'm duped; my ears perk up, I lean forward in concentration, and occasionally he/she is so convincing that I wander out to the driveway. And every time I am faced with disappointment. The ice cream truck drove off one fine summer day, twinkling with the pleasant music of childhood happiness, and never returned. Why did it leave? Higher gas prices? The economy? Spite? Perhaps we’ll never know. What I am sure of is that something should be done—that’s right, there oughta be a law…
Not to bring politics into this, but I usually opt for small government. However, this is one issue so important that I think we need to have some legislation protecting the dwindling, dare I say endangered, ice cream trucks. If we really want to put our tax dollars to work, we should implement neighborhood ice cream truck programs. If we’re going to all the trouble to save Fannie Mae, why not the Good Humor guy? Having a house in an ice cream truck zone would certainly make it more desirable, and perhaps make the streets safer. The reappearance of ice cream trucks across the country could revive our housing market. Furthermore, this important community service would bring joy back to the suburbs, keep kids off drugs, and most importantly, make me really happy. Honestly, who doesn’t like an ice cream truck—I would imagine that even people who don’t like cake can’t say they dislike them. It’s a symbol of all that’s good in this world—like Batman. And no one is forcing you to eat the ice cream, it should just be there if you want it. I’m talking about free will, delivered right to your doorstep.
Oh, and another thing, one day I will find that kid and his piano. Show some respect.
I’m Alpha Cook and I approve this message.