Just in case you got some horrible gifts this year — for instance, matching sweaters for you and your spouse — I’d like to give you some ideas on what to do with the money you get from returning that twinsy apparel to the store. Also, I’d just like to take the opportunity to make you terribly envious of my most awesome holiday gifts.
The AK Ice Tray
Maybe the coolest thing ever invented: an ice cube tray shaped like an AK 47 clip that makes ice shaped like bullets. Does it actually work? Who cares?! (thanks, Beta Wife)
Small Batch Bourbon Sampler
If booze isn’t the perfect gift, then I don’t know what is. The Alpha Parents were responsible for this gift containing tiny bottles of Knob Creek, Bookers, Bakers, and Basil Hayden bourbon. Believe it or not, it’s available at fine ABC stores in NC.
Penguin Martini Glasses
Drinks just taste better in glasses with animal shapes. Available at Pottery Barn.
Record Coasters Maybe one of my favorite gifts (I mean, next to the Mortal Combat vs. DC Comics game I got for the Xbox). Made from the centers of actual vinyl records (moment of silence), they look even better with a martini resting on them. Available at Uncommon Goods.
This is a nifty little kitchen accessory that will make you look completely ridiculous, but ready to attack those pesky, tear-inducing garlic cloves, onions, and shallots. I can usually make it through two or three slices of onion before running out of the room to splash water in my eyes. Beta Wife says if I were chopping it properly I wouldn’t damage the cells, but until then, I have these goggles to help me along and encourage bad form. Yesterday I chopped an entire onion all by myself! (But don’t think you’re relieved of your kitchen duties just yet, BW.) Available at many kitchen stores or online at Organize.com.