Raisins, I Don’t Like You

If I had just one wish, it would be for people to stop putting raisins and other little dried fruits in my cinnamon rolls. Okay, so I’d also like to win the lottery, be adopted by Angelina Jolie, and achieve world peace (yes, in that order), but I’m trying to keep it real. I would like to know why some people feel it’s necessary to ruin a perfectly good cinnamon roll with some slimy little desiccated grapes. I realize I may be in the minority here, but I think we non-raisin lovers should at least be entitled to a choice of baked goods. A raisin-free option. It’s really not fair that I should have to delay my consumption of a delicious treat because I am forced to carefully remove each and every raisin. To make matters worse, one of my favorite bakeries, Arizmendi, has gone one step further — they purposefully hide the raisins in the dough. That’s deception of the worst kind. Excitedly you take a huge bite, but then suddenly you realize that behind the soft buttery exterior, those raisins were lurking the whole time. Resigned, you must begin the raisin excavation again, but this time it’s much more complicated, requiring breaking the roll into bites for proper examination. Cruel and unusual? I think so.